Spectacle Wearer Satire Gifts

Can't read 'SLOW'.

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Trappist talk show.

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

Musician

Phone Mittens

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

'Doctor, your glasses!'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

Houdini's Dog.

Bad business inc.

'He left me five minutes after he got his new National Health glasses.'

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Contacts vs. Glasses

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

'Crud I forgot my glasses.'

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

Ugly sisters

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

'Heads.'

'Ooh look, you've got a free lucky horseshoe with your giant meatballs.'

Let's try to get a different sponsor next year.

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

'That's better. The spots are much clearer.'

"You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote."