Spectacle Wearer Satire Mugs

Can't read 'SLOW'.

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Trappist talk show.

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

Musician

Phone Mittens

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

To appease the fans, major-league umpires are now required to take eye exams during the seventh inning stretch.

'Doctor, your glasses!'

"Welcome aboard, Withers. Now just go see Personnel on seven, and Pants on twelve."

Houdini's Dog.

'He left me five minutes after he got his new National Health glasses.'

Bad business inc.

'Unknown fact: Cows aren't grazing...they're searching for their contact lenses.'

"Apparently, he's well over 100 now."

'Okay you can get dressed. That will help me determine the billing.'

'So much for his new glasses...he didn't see that coming'

"P.A.Y.F.O.R.Y.O.U.R.G.L.A.S.S.E.S."

Contacts vs. Glasses

"Be careful what you say, Senator. Putting your foot in your mouth greatly increases the risk of athlete's gum."

'Ooh look, you've got a free lucky horseshoe with your giant meatballs.'

'Crud I forgot my glasses.'

"Hillary Clinton feels that sinners stigmatises people, so from now on, we're to call you service users."

Ugly sisters

'Heads.'

"And, finally, I can put this charming toy plane on the dress because I am Ungaro."

Let's try to get a different sponsor next year.

'My grades at school have improved dramatically now that I'm wearing glasses...'

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."