Spectacle Sleuth Gifts

"Come back when you're sober, and we'll see if you still have that double vision."

"How are those?"

'New glasses?'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Paranormal A-Z...

$1: Family Secrets

He looks so natural lying there...

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

The response of a spirit during a seance is in fact an annoyed neighbour.

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

Lost Property - Missing Head

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

Scarecrow.

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

"...He appears to have stepped away from his body."

Net Zero Superstitions

'Edward de Vere? -- give me a break!'

Two men converse secretively

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

Communicate with the departed via the cloud.

Catholic Priest Gay Mardi Gras

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'