Spectacle Collectors Pillows

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Sundial Time

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Caricatures $20"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Do you like my bling?

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"I wonder what this was for."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

Orthopaedist

The public was right

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"Lady Liberty, I choose you...ooo...ooo...oooh!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Over-reaction Man.

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

Duck in a bathtub

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'How old is this vase?'

"This painting, we're sorry to say, is pure trash."

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'