Specimen Sleuth T-Shirts

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Have you no common scents?!'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Stratigraphy

"Do you smell something?"

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

GM Crops Genie.

Newton's Law and Order.

Undercover Biophysicists

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'