Special Constable Gifts

Special Constables

The Great Chartist Demonstration. No. V. - Relief Duty.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Crash Test Dummy Blues

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

The Further Temptations of Kenneth Starr

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

"He did it!"

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'It's a slow trap.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."