Constable Gifts

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'I've done it, Sarge - I've nicked Smelly Bates!'

'I want to be them!'

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

'That's no stray, walk your wife's dog in your own time, Simkins!'

There are no accidents. At least, that's what Constable Bob believed. Too much paperwork.

Policeman's face reveals clock.

There's been another rise in the number of allegations of rudeness and intolerance...

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

After a spate of garden-shed burglaries,,, Constable Smedling finally apprehended the culprit

A policeman giving an old man a dressing down

'Lovely job constable - the case neatly tied up.'

The Enemy in our Midst! An Extra Special Constable Discovering a German waiter in the Act of laying the Foundation of a Concrete Gun-bed.

The Great Chartist Demonstration. No. III. - Distribution of the Staves.

Startling!

Boy loitering on the street says he is practising to be a policeman

Lady escorted home by police

A Pardonable Mistake.

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

A very young man being hired as a groom.

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'At ease, soldier.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."