Special Forces Member Gifts

Camouflage Unit

'Hamster Swat Team.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

"You can do it!"

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

Submariners' Eye Test.

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

A Crown of Red Poppies

Bombers drop pretzels

'We have GOT to find a new squadron name!'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

Small Ads. For Sale :- 'Navy Pram'.

"I told you to slow down."

It's your replacement for 'Nimrod'!

“Sarge, could you please stop trying to hold my hand!”

"Actually, after five ribbons you get one medal free."

The Federal Witless Protection Program in action.

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

'D.I.Y. SAS.'

'Time out!... Scooper!!'