Speakers Gifts

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

Check the products and prices.

Man Struggling with Giant Speakers.

Statue of Liberty reads Hifi Choice magazine.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

They hated me.

Campaign for Plain English

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Political convention

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Changing Minds

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."