Speaker Gifts

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'And in conclusion.'

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

They hated me.

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'Do you think I overdid the eco stuff?'

Nancy Pelosi

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I'll cut the grass..."

"What a pleasure it is to be here. . . looking out on all the smiling faces."

Paul Ryan

House leadership 'cry'-teria

Where are they now? Jean Chretien.

Speaker of the House - what you think they're thinking, what they're really thinking.

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

Secret thoughts of the Commons speaker. . .

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Geography is still fascinating, thought Bob.

I speak for all MPs, Mr Speaker, when I say 'swift recovery from your laryngitis'.

'Now, moving on to rape and murder, it's helpful, I think, to consider the two standard British light bulb fittings.'

'When pastors take sports analogies too far...'

Parody of Thomas Nast's Penury and Resultant Lecture Tour

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'