Spatula Virtuoso T-Shirts

Spatula Conductor

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Coleridge'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Wino Appreciation Group

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Writer

Poetry repairman

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

Writer Blinds Shakespeare in Shame.

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"House red, sir?"