Spatula Virtuoso Gifts

Spatula Conductor

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

Need a vitaminlike pill, but don't want to risk the side effects? Then try the world's first multivitamin placebo! They don't do any good, but they don't do any harm either.

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"O.K., next time around let's ease up on the vibrato."

'Coleridge'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Wino Appreciation Group

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

Writer

Poetry repairman

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

Nikolai Alekseevich Klyuev

Alexander Pope

'They call me the 'grandfather' of Hip-Hop!'

"I'm right off my quinoa doc."

"House red, sir?"

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'