Spat Survivor Gifts

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Just admit you were wrong. I'll select the things you were wrong about."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Nervous Oral Testing

'Time for your pills.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

B.O.H.I.C.A. Memorial

'Last time I share-house with a Wookie!'

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

"I remember the time a cat came down here. We scared the hell out of him."

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

"Ah, its great to get away from the rat race!"

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

'I don't like this. . .'

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

The menu said this soup is recommended for mature diners, and is rated "AFS." What does that stand for? "Adult fly situations."

"I just want to learn enough to be able to survive the train to work."

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

'I simply don't understand the requirement to pay people more just to live in London!'

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

COVID-19 in the Big Apple.

'We got your test results back. Read it and weep.' Bedside bloopers

"That which doesn't kill you might give you stomach trouble."

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'