Spat Survivor T-Shirts

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Just admit you were wrong. I'll select the things you were wrong about."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

Nervous Oral Testing

'Time for your pills.'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

"I remember the time a cat came down here. We scared the hell out of him."

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'Sounds like another sat nav mistake, you had better put the kettle on dear!'

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

"I'm afraid there's just so far you can go with street smarts."

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

'Smog, pollen, acid-rain, holes in the ozone-layer, crime, road rage, terrorists - HERE I COME!'

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

"Ah, its great to get away from the rat race!"

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

Appointment for Central London Executive - With Car and Parking Space

"I just want to learn enough to be able to survive the train to work."

'I simply don't understand the requirement to pay people more just to live in London!'

'I don't like this. . .'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

'Harry's 40 years in the rat race have taken their toll.'

'We got your test results back. Read it and weep.' Bedside bloopers

COVID-19 in the Big Apple.

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

'You're trying to hail a taxi?... Are you insane? You'll never get one at this time of day!'

"Gotta go. I've taken in all the carcinogen exposure I can for one day."