Airport Survivor T-Shirts

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

Carefree luggage.

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Time for your pills.'

Airport

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

Arrivals, departures & limbo.

"The holiday was a real eye opener...the crowds,the unbearable heat and noise,the chaos...and that was just at Heathrow."

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'