Airport Survivor Gifts

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

Carefree luggage.

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Welsh airport arrivals.

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

'Time for your pills.'

Airport

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Arrivals, departures & limbo.