Airport Anxiety Warrior T-Shirts

"Woah. Looks like someone's planning on leaving the country."

Carefree luggage.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Fight or Flight

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

Airplane Mode.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Flu vaccine.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Airport

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Airport

Mass Travel

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"