Flight Anxiety Survivor T-Shirts

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

"Here we are."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

Stage Fright.

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

Fear of Public Speaking

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

Scared as Hell Airlines.

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

How to deal with rude customers.

'Test Pilot.'

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

"Do you feel we are making progress in overcoming your fears?"

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

"I feel like I'm not making enough progress getting over my fear of everything."

'How long have you had this extreme fear of lifts?'