Flight Anxiety Survivor Gifts

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

"Here we are."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

Neurotics in the tropics

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

Stage Fright.

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"He hates his six-monthly visits."

"Back at work and ready to go-get-'em after a two-week vacation at O'Hare."

"I'm so nervous! I feel like you're all in my stomach."

"Miss, I'm familiar with the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign, but what's with the 'Check Engine' light?"

"Right foot, left foot, inhale, exhale, right foot..."

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals

Fear of Public Speaking

Scared as Hell Airlines.

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

'Test Pilot.'

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

"Saaay, aren't you the I.R.S. guy who audited me last week?"

"Do you feel we are making progress in overcoming your fears?"

"If anything happens, Janice, I love you."

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

This definitely qualifies as a holiday from hell.

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

"I feel like I'm not making enough progress getting over my fear of everything."

'I hate flying. Thank God for terra firma ... or terra mushy ...'