Sparkle Gifts

"I bedazzled my boobs for your birthday." "Ohhh. Myyyy."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Champagne

Disco Bunny.

'It's more festive-looking!'

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Sew on a sequin!

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

You just keep giving.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Let's all be fairies.

Bulb

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

Conducting Handel's Fireworks Music with a Sparkler

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

Sparklers

'Whoa! Really? You offer a full refund on any engagement ring for up to two years?! Very cool!'

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

You put sparkling water in the WHAT?

Dancing in tailcoats

Dogs with alcohol collars.

Two women in jeweled dresses

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

"You're losing your everything."

"And these are diamonté—a girl's closest acquaintance."

"It connects to the internet and sparkles like a ring...it's the iBling."

Merrily covering everything in glitter...

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

"For such a big-ticket item, you'd think they could make the tickets bigger."