Sparkle Gifts

"I bedazzled my boobs for your birthday." "Ohhh. Myyyy."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Champagne

Disco Bunny.

'It's more festive-looking!'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

Sew on a sequin!

You just keep giving.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Let's all be fairies.

Bulb

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

Conducting Handel's Fireworks Music with a Sparkler

"I love the idea of getting married to a jeweller."

Sparklers

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

"And these are diamonté—a girl's closest acquaintance."

"You're losing your everything."

Dancing in tailcoats

Two women in jeweled dresses

Dogs with alcohol collars.

"It connects to the internet and sparkles like a ring...it's the iBling."

"For such a big-ticket item, you'd think they could make the tickets bigger."

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

Merrily covering everything in glitter...

Janitor mops the floor.