Spare Specialist Gifts

Bowling ball head.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Drool Marks

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'It's time for the annual wage review...' (Sign on the wall says 'Remember money isn't everything!')

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

Waiting staff

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

"Yes, I know what's going on in the world. That's still no excuse for my Internet being down all day."

'Odd as it may seem, it needs oil.'

Rafael Nadal

For the last time, I know the basement is wet….

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

Woodworkers Club Meeting, Room 23. Splinter Group, Room 24.

Armored knight's shield Severe Tire Damage.

"The replacement part is $28, but cost will be $3,200 after we dismantle half the engine to install it."

"I told you he was too old for a surprise party!"

'Now, that's what I call a smash!'

Oh, that's definitely out!

"I think the flush is broken."

Optometrist. How do they look? Great! How do they see?

Acme Beret Company? Let me speak to tech support.

'The warranty is for the life of the vehicle but we're not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

Technical Problems

DAVE'S GARAGE, 'Sorry, pal, but we found a typo in your warranty.'

"...I think I've flooded the carburettor!"

Billy Bong Boomerang