Spare Master Gifts

Accident whilst bowling.

Hooked on spares....

Remote control pirate bully

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Tommy!"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

Digging.

Bowling ball head.

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"He did well with his eye exam but was disappointed to find out that laser surgery won't help out his score when he plays laser tag."

Carpenter

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'What's up? She been rearranging your shed again?'

'Please don't read anything into the minutes, Ms. Thomas. Just reading the minutes will suffice.'

Jeepers Creepers Billy, Can you wait until halloween to wear that? You're scaring me half to death.

"Careful, underneath that layer of snow there's a layer of confusion."

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

A man working on a model airplane

'But, Mom, more toys are a 'quality of life' issue to me!'

'IT'S A SNOW-GHOST!'

'Good. Now slide the 'O' ring over the hubble's sleeve there in front of you.'

Checking watch

Procrastinator's Leap

Supermarket customer types.

Trick-or-Treat At Own Risk

'I've no time to read books...these are Instruction Manuals for my stuff!'

Carpenter

Large handbook for hand held PCs.

'Nice toss. But if you want a real tight spiral, try getting your elbow up and throwing right over your ear.'

"This is why you read the instructions."