Spaghetti Stunt Fan Gifts

"Fire department, I guess—point is I made too much pasta."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'He's maturing early.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I lettered in spelling."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

Alarmistclock

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Trump Mask

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

Safety Barriers

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

Spaghetti Road

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

'The kidnappers want 500.000,- Euros for the boss. I offered them 600.000,- Euro to keep him.'

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

"I'd like to take a few minutes to make a series of promises I have no intention of keeping."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Musician

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

Guy Fieri

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'Romano, Romano, wherefore art thou Romano?'

Spaghetti Mummy