Spaghetti Stunt Fan Pillows

"Fire department, I guess—point is I made too much pasta."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'He's maturing early.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I lettered in spelling."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Alarmistclock

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Safety Barriers

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'Do you call this spaghetti'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

Trump Mask

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

Spaghetti Road

'The kidnappers want 500.000,- Euros for the boss. I offered them 600.000,- Euro to keep him.'

Italian Style Fish 'n' Chips

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

"I'd like to take a few minutes to make a series of promises I have no intention of keeping."

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

Guy Fieri

Musician

"He's gone from the most-wanted list to someone the authorities would like to talk to."

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

Spaghetti Mummy