Space-saving Critic Pillows

Collapsamatic

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"Don't you find her work just so wonderfully liberating!"

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

A man sprays a bug in an organic foods shop.

Evolution of Man

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"To save money, all you need to do is pack all those clothes into this suitcase. Be sure to leave room for my shoes."

If you don't see what you want, we don't serve your kind here.

'So, Pluto, you prefer the term 'little planet' to 'dwarf planet.' Is that correct?'

Bulltoon: Insatiabull.

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."

"You forgot his tail."

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

Foreclosure.

"Our house wine is abominable."

The Slips of Capitalism

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

First Cynic in Space

"The government wants an international economy... Bosses on N.Y. salaries and everyone else on Mumbai wages."

"Are you sure these comment cards are anonymous?"

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

'This Valentine's, Ted and I are just giving each other more space.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. . . we need to make savings to pay for the locums!"