Cost-cutting Critic Pillows

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."

This is not about team building, but about cutting back on labour costs...

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"We've found someone online who's 28% better at being you for 34% less."

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. . . we need to make savings to pay for the locums!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Good boy."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Virtual Doctor

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

DUNVOTIN

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

Phil would get giddy after a large print run, but the company was saving a fortune.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

US Capitol Building Toppled

'Stocks dropped on the news that governments can fool some people come of the time,but not all the people all of the time.'

The Emperor's New Clothes

social services cuts

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Committee on Deficit Spending and Positive Spinning.

Trump Lashes Out at John Bolton

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"