Cost-of-living Critic Pillows

'When I was a girl my father brought home the bacon. Now we both work just to afford eggs.'

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

Gas: 'Free 'Thank You, Big Spender' With Each Fill-Up!'

"Of course we pay a living wage....as long as you only live four days a week!"

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

Russia Money Laundering

Why markets crash.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

Republican politics!

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Capitalism gone nuts!

The euro as a monster

Wall Street In Jail

If things were going just a little bit better we could have filed for bankruptcy.

'Employee benefits? Sure, here you are!'

Capitalism

Dollars Press Conference

'Are you ready to take a ride on your Presidential yacht? ... We're just loading her up.'

Too big to fail

The Pope Code

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

'Bad news for those of you who believe goods and services should be exchanged for money.'

'Brother, can you spare a trillion?'

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

Moanathon.

"Our generous pensions are unsustainable so I'm firing you."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

'Instead of the dollar or the Yuan, I'd like my allowance pegged to the value of the comic book,'

Assuming That It Works

The bonus is performance based. You lost lots, which resulted in big bailout. Way to go.

Gluttony and Famine

"I'm lookin' for a couple of fast guns who ain't afraid to lay down their life. There's no pay, but it'll be a great way to get your name out there."