Soy Storyteller Gifts

"States of tofu"

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"I'm now too old to produce milk, and I can't afford to retire as yet, so I've had to diversify..."

"You've got to learn to let go."

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

Spring/Summer/Winter

'May I strongly suggest the soy burger?'

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

'Miss Cole hung it right next to Eddie Doan's sun.'

Rob and Maria dated for months, until the day he realized she was made entirely out of soy.

"Listen, you'll take another break after Deuteronomy and I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."

"I'm kinda over all this snow. . . I'm ready for spring."

Too Much SOY

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

"She's had work."

'Soy milk, soy burgers...imagine being replaced by a bean.'

Melting Icicle

'More versatile than you think - the building is made of tofu.'

Spring Delayed

"How's the soya, dear?"

Santa Claus

"Ok, spring...we're REALLY ready for you..."

Vegan Voldemort

Romance novel writers make the best waiters. 'Tonight's special is chicken: ample,milky white breasts, touched with a slight hesitation of strong,rigid basil, too headstrong to stay and too scared to stop.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'