Southern Satirist Gifts

Diocese of South Carolina!

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Sock Puppet in Literature

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

'Secondhand smoke.'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

Suburban street.

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"I'm sorry, dear, but you know how I feel about intra-marital sex."

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Autumn Leaves

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

Early Ram Raids

"I'm the king of the jungle! Why do I always get the hand-me-down phones?"

"Should I wait till the tail stops wagging before I stick it with my fork?"

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

'This is totally bananas!'

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

Slower than a rubber-tipped arrow,as powerful as a wind-up choo-choo, unable to step over his shoelaces, it's Copyright Free Man!

'For what we are about to receive...'

(Used to be) END.

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