Southern Hemisphere Ponderer Gifts

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"What was I thinking?!"

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

The Politics of Food.

Dog Igloo.

Of course I believe your 'Alien Abduction' story...

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

"Don't mention Pat Buchanan, pro or con."

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

'I think that's always how it's been!'

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

A man holding a pro-life sign stands above a group of beaten people who are pro choice.

"Did you ever notice, the snow is always whiter on the other side of the glacier?"

Bug to bug: 'Do you think there is life on other plants?'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"Who's next?"

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

Polar Bear Desert Island