Soundscape Navigator Gifts

Death and the mp3 player.

Marimba

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Ahh! The sounds of nature! Peep peep. Tweet tweet! Twitter. Croak croak. Sniff sniff. Ribbit. Human nature. Twitter twitter. Tippity tap tap. Cackle cackle! Bleep bleep.

Saxophone Player.

Birds with Headphones

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

Don't you wish you worked in an office sometimes? No! Tree's Tree Nursery. There's nothing here to listen to. Are you kidding. Whoosh. Crack. Rustle. Thwump. Caw. Yes, but there's no ironic commentary. Are you kidding?

Computer Music

The producer of the nature sounds albums tries to organize a world tour.'

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

'Is that you cell phone or mine?'

Music Shop Percussion. I don't know if I should get a snare, kettle, bass or bongos. That's a conundrum!

"Have you ever worked in a noisy environment, and suffered hearing loss as a result?"

The Invention of Bagpipes

'Oh, it's about what I expected...I'm on hold for eternity to some tech rep in India.'

'It's OK, it's not somebody strangling one of our friends: It's just a bagpipe player...'

"I call it 'You kids turn down that so-called music. I can't even hear myself scream.'"

A Peek into the 2021 Noise Pollution L'Accord

"I can say literally anything and they use it for spa music."

"Our researchers have discovered that 'E' is the most common, and only, letter in the dolphin alphabet."

'It's a duet yourself project.'

'Another advantage is the humming and whirring, which is so much more plasant than chalk screeching on a blackboard.'

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

Gramophone Headphone

'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'

Rolls Music Store: Grand Piano $6500, Okay Pianos $1500.

Learn how to identify the parts of a drum kit

"If the next one is any louder than that, I'm out of here."

"I figured out how to make Sebastian's purr into my new ringtone!"

Drum School, Sleep Clinic, Fire Alarm - Testing Lab.

'Don't say anything!'

"You can subscribe to 'Ocean Sounds' for the low, low monthly price of...."

But what is the sound of one hand clapping for one hand playing air guitar and one hand playing air drums?