Sound Wave Fan Pillows

'If you don't stop playing that thing I'll go crazy.'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Waking Up With Rooster.

'What did I tell you about playing the piano in the house?'

Cat and Broom

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

Addiction to mobile.

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

A clown combines music and soap bubbles.

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

'You are naming your invention a telephone, Mr. Bell? That has a nice ring to it.'

Terry Wogan

Blues Night.

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

'Mr. Watson?.. Alexander Graham Bell here. I'm a first-time caller...'

"And now, our newest hit song..."

White noise machines for guys.

'John's animal impressions are particularly good. He not only does the sounds, he does the smells as well!'

"Go on, breath in the helium from the balloon, you'll sound all squeaky like me..."

'So that's what hockey players do in summer.'

"Hear that? First lawnmower of spring!"

Percy Grainger.

"So. . . how long have you been vaping?"

Sunny desert island next to rainy desert islands.

"The disc jockeys creep me out, but you can't deny that they play great music..."

"People usually see the Virgin Mary in a piece of toast or something' but..."

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

Wow. Is your heartbeat in stereo? It's actually beyond stereo, doctor. You should get yourself a quadrophonic stethoscope!