Phonetic Fan Pillows

'He's not in now. This is his secwatawy.'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

' Once again, the name is Perry, with a P, as in pterodactyl.'

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Addiction to mobile.

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'You are naming your invention a telephone, Mr. Bell? That has a nice ring to it.'

'It's a Marimba!'

"Yeah, I see the outgoing calls, but what about the introverted ones?"

Musician hurts his nose.

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

'Yes, I'm really modern now. I use a cell phone and no longer need a phone booth.'

'Mr. Watson?.. Alexander Graham Bell here. I'm a first-time caller...'

A servant unfamiliar with his mistress's voice

The Red Cat: Lights/Red Cat Humour/Rhyme.

"...and the dish ran away with the other dish."

'Our email program is on the fritz again.'

"Go on, breath in the helium from the balloon, you'll sound all squeaky like me..."

'John's animal impressions are particularly good. He not only does the sounds, he does the smells as well!'

"Hey, I'd recognize your squeaky, high-pitched voice anytime."

'The alphabet in alphabetical order

'What the heck ever happened to all the great polka bands.'

'If you don't stop playing that thing I'll go crazy.'

"I said, that's my final offer, Carmody. Pressing the pound key for more options will get you nowhere."

World series of Polka.

"Mom, can you come get me?"