Sound Critics Gifts

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Brass band and bagpipes have their place. Outdoors and 10 miles away!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

Noisy energy?

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"The guy who wrote 'The Frog Chorus' is sounding kinda croaky."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

The Music Critic.

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Mega-Corp Pictures. This film will tell a story about Frederick the Great censuring one of his favorite musicians. "The Empire Strikes Bach"!

A singer being criticised

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

'What have you got in the way of an imported red that has a label that doesn't look like my cat drew it?'

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."

"Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity, if only through the lyrics of a Coldplay song!"

"Nice, but not Pavarotti''

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Musical Accidents

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Focus Groupies

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

"It's witless, repetitive, and irritating. It's great!"

Smashed harp...