Soul-searching Expert Gifts

"I see you're enjoying our reflecting pool, General."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Oh, crap.'

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

FAQs.

Christian and Born again Christian...

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"All the celebrities come here."

"Did you have a cat?"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"