Soul-searching Gifts

"Introspection, J.B., is for losers."

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I haven't felt that overwhelming urge to create, but then again I haven't felt much of anything lately."

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Existential Risk

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

'Don't look upon me as a priest, look upon me as your personal 'After Life Coach.''

'It's not considered good form to brag about extinguishing your ego.'

"The meaning of life at a glance"

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"You'll find it's lonely at the top."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Maybe you just weren't cut out for enlightenment.'

Valentine for Guru.

"What happens to our soul if we're taxed out of existence."

'I've been working on my asceticism and self-denial for twenty years now -- could I go down to Las Vegas to test them?'

Two words, my friend...Yak dung.

How?

"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"