Sophistication Skeptics Gifts

"I seem to remember you saying you didn't want to attend a county fair because it isn't sophisticated enough."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

Celebrity Phrenologist.

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"Gramps, you were alive before everyone knew what you were doing on social media... What was that called?" "Bliss!"

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

Twenty Blades Razor

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

'I can't believe that will get as good mileage as the foot.'

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"Whatever happened to throwing Frisbees around?"

"Someone posted a picture of you working in the yard, so I knew right away it had to be a deepfake."

"My kid could have done that with AI."

"Yeah, but good luck getting it peer-reviewed."