Solo Diner Gifts

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'

"Very classy choice for a guy who's eating solo."

"Table for one" is all you need to know. "One what" shouldn

Table for one. Sobbing, or non-sobbing?

"Table for one" is all you need to know. "One what?" is none of your business.

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"Do you care to blend in at the bar while you eat alone, or stick out like a sore thumb in the dining room?"

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

Zagat Rated.

"Linguini for two?"

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

"It's made with real angel hair."

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Have you heard of a celebrity roast, Lance? The closest I ever came to a celebrity roast was the time I had a roast beef in a deli and Henny Youngman walked in.

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"I hope I'm not boring you with these old stories of mine"

Homeworking has really been the death of the office party, what do you think?

"His wife's still visiting her mother, so it looks like it's left over pizza for us...again!"

"Is this business or pleasure?"