Solicitors Gifts

Lawyer lists his billable hours on tombstone.

'Enough of this bickering! let's just do it alphabetically.'

Opting for Chinese food for lunch, the law partners decide in principle to share their dishes and, accordingly, before ordering, negotiate a comprehensive pre-victual agreement.

Coiffures suitable for lady barristers

'We object to the term 'snail mail'.'

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

"The fine print is there, it's just written in invisible ink."

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

Solicitor for oafs.

"If you settle I want have the pleasure of squashing them in a court of law, but I can live with that."

'Hold up everyone. I read that last part wrong. She wants you to divide the 'cash' equally.'

'We're being sued for having unflattering pictures on wanted posters.'

Trial by Viagra

"I've hired more attorneys. I call it the Layered Lawyer Look for Spring."

"I get that quite a bit. Actually, I'm a lawyer."

Snell & Dunberg: Attorneys at Law - Thank You Litigious Society

"That's a wig, isn't it? Haha, you can totally see the join."

"Let's get this straight. You're on a leash. I'm on a retainer."

'I'm not suicidal - this is our office's designated smoking area.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"To be honest, Mr. Poodle I was hoping to be represented by one of your partners."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'My client does.'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

Tax slug.

'Our clients are suing us for not warning them against getting letigious personality disorders.'

'I've got an injury claim solicitor to advertise on your soles.'

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'Don't blame me for suing you, Mom and dad. You're the ones who wanted me to be a lawyer.'

'Release the lawyers.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'