Solicitation Squasher Gifts

"Door to door salesmen are welcomed at any door but mine!"

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'This cave is really damp... and squidgy underfoot'

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'for what we are about to receive...'

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

Solicitor Reading House Deeds

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

Does that mean we got the War Office contract, Harris?

"How's your blogging going?"

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

Fiends reunited

"My mistake. It wasn't a mouse, I just dropped my roll."

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

Cricketer hitting ball out of TV.

I haven't seen Uncle Mort lately. Are you serious? How could you miss him? Ever since Youtube started demonetizing channels left and right, it's been driving independent content creators out of business. Your uncle's out front trying to get people to sign a petition to save his favorite show. "Oatmeal News" told us what the incontinence industry didn't want us to hear about staying regular!

'Please give up badminton and take up squash or something.'

I didn't know you played squash, how about a game!

J. Edgar Hoover's secret file on MLK

Squash.

'At the tone, the time will be LATER THAN YOU THINK.'

"I'm dating a squash champion."

'Is this your profit?'

Werewolf Campfire

"He turned to gardening during the Covid quarantine. Now he's a slave to his summer squash blog."