Soil Whisperer T-Shirts

'Truthfully, I never wanted the world to beat a path to my door.'

Planting veggies

We built your beds, planted, mulched and set up your watering system. Nice work! Here's your check. Thanks! I love gardening. Me, too!

Rooting.

'Winter days not nice enough for gardening.'

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I'm losing my patience with you."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

An old man growing berries

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Sale! Weed Whackers

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove