Lawn Whisperer T-Shirts

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

"Isn't this the season for you to regret not winterizing the lawnmower last fall?"

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

'No, Billy, I distinctly said that if you mow the lawn you can halve your allowance. That's why we ask for things in writing.'

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"You were very brave."

'The neighbours are complaining about you aerating the lawn again,'

"Before the 'stay at home order' I would just spray these weeds... Now pulling them something for me to do."

"I can't wait to have kids - work in the yard."

Mower Repair

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

'Put it on my 'to do' list...'

'I think they're the best crop circles you've ever done!'

'What are going to do about this?'

"I'd recommend the nine-tine."

'You want me to run things by you, dear?'

-Why are you tired? I thought you were using labour-saving devices? -It's getting them started!

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

Sale! Weed Whackers

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"I can handle my wife's Honey-Do list. It's her Honey-Don't list that just about kills me".

Dunmowin

How does she get her grass so green?

"You're gonna need a bigger goat!"

"We really need to do something about the lawn."

"Watering the sidewalk, eh?"

'I think management should give the groundskeepers what they want and end this strike.'

Man mowing grass, dog has lifted kennel out of the way

Find out why your mower has not been returned.

Pack of dogs carrying bones invade golf course.

"Parting the church lawn and the Red Sea are not exactly the same ."

The Gardener's Calendar: February - This is often a wet month so spike your lawns all over to improve drainage.