Lawn Whisperer Gifts

'You just put me away last fall with no winterization and not even a thank you and you expect to start right up this spring. Well, we'll see about that!'

"Isn't this the season for you to regret not winterizing the lawnmower last fall?"

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

'The good news is I just dethatched the lawn. The bad news is the lawn was nothing but thatch. . .'

Strimmer (weed whacker) starts to lift off.

"There's got to be an easier way to kill the moss in a lawn"

Re-explore familiar surroundings. You may come across some fresh, new surprises!

'No, Billy, I distinctly said that if you mow the lawn you can halve your allowance. That's why we ask for things in writing.'

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

"You were very brave."

Ames, Honey? The yard really needs you attention. What makes you say that?

'The neighbours are complaining about you aerating the lawn again,'

"Before the 'stay at home order' I would just spray these weeds... Now pulling them something for me to do."

"I can't wait to have kids - work in the yard."

Mower Repair

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

'Put it on my 'to do' list...'

'I think they're the best crop circles you've ever done!'

'What are going to do about this?'

"I'd recommend the nine-tine."

'You want me to run things by you, dear?'

-Why are you tired? I thought you were using labour-saving devices? -It's getting them started!

'I don't know who he is...but he roto-tilled my entire yard and never even stopped to let me thank him!'

Sale! Weed Whackers

Dalek gardening...

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"I can handle my wife's Honey-Do list. It's her Honey-Don't list that just about kills me".

Dunmowin

How does she get her grass so green?

Ed uses comb-overs on his bald spots.

"You're gonna need a bigger goat!"

Ok, Rob. We'll get right on it. That was the third neighbor grousing about our yard. It's the natural look. Not in this ecosystem.

I trimmed my natural plantings to look good for your house buyers. Thanks! Someone is coming over now. I'll hide out with you. For sale. This is a well-kept street. People love their neat, green lawns. Doesn't anyone keep an eco-friendly yard?

Home from vacation! I wonder what happened while I was gone. I'm guessing � it rained.

"We really need to do something about the lawn."