Yard Whisperer T-Shirts

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

I'd take down those chemical signs if you want to sell your house. I need them to keep people off the treated grass. They'll figure it out.

'Come on the weeds.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

The Busy Gardener

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Botany Baby!

"I'm losing my patience with you."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

Sale! Weed Whackers

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Award Winning Gardener

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."