Land Whisperer T-Shirts

Man cultivating land

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Busy Gardener

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

An old man growing berries

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Award Winning Gardener

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

"I'm losing my patience with you."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Sale! Weed Whackers