Soft Opening Survivor Gifts

"This is our soft opening."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

Desert Island Mishap

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

Drawing on an island.

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

Shipwrecked.

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

Today's Rapunzel

Last mirage for the next 20 miles.

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

'Now what?'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"The sign says you can swim to civilization from here, but that sounds unlikely."

'Think about it: If you eat me now, you won't get an egg every day...'

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"