Shortage Survivor Gifts

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Thank-you God.'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"The trees are laughing at us."

A guide to seasons in the North East

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"Keep in mind that it was put there by the sharks."

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

'Eureka! -- A cure for the summertime blues!'

'How do you like the new cubicle?' - 'Can I have my old office back please.'

Relief for America in the Heat.

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

Intense summer sun

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

"I don't mind having a bun in the oven, but I do mind not being able to set the temperature."

"It's so hot they're laying them already cooked!"

Fox Operated Fan

A snowman enjoys the aircon

"No, we're no gods, we're God's gift to women!"

After spending the summer home with the kids, teacher pay doesn't seem all that high after all.

"Central air? I am so jealous!"

"What makes you think you have cabin fever?"

'The tide goes out along way, doesn't it?'

'The good news is the airline was trying to skimp on fuel, and no terrorists were involved.'t

"I screamed for ice cream and all I got was 15 minutes in the Time Out chair."

Time Management Seminar Schedule.

'Boy it's hot today!'

"He gets like this every summer."

Air conditioning.

'We're broke and tired, but the kids are finally off to school.'

"Thank goodness they're only seasonal."