Automated System Survivor Gifts

"Here, I'll call the credit department for you...you might wanna push 'seven' on here."

"This is our soft opening."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Self-Assembly Bookcase

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"Please wait while I load up software you'll never use and stick random icons all over the place."

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"It just doesn't seem right. Ever since the new system upgrade nothing is where it used to be!"

"Is this the queue for Funworld?"

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"It's for you. You've got jury duty."

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."

'Urgent customer announcement. Is there an EPOS systems programmer in the shop?'

Time Management Seminar Schedule.

"Your appointment with the doctor is at eleven-fifteen, but his appointment with you is at twelve-fifteen."

Hold, Hold, Hold, What you imagine all the phones look like at technical support.

'My S.A.T. scores were too low? That's it?'

'For acall centre in Bangalore press 1 - for one in Hyderbad press......'

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

'It says here the D.M.V. got hit by a robbery today that took 3 hours. . . you know how those lines are.'

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"

"So that must be the guy from Tech Support."

Bottle bank queue.

"If you want to know what you cand do with your recorded message, press 1 now..."

Welcome Back To Another Game Of Which Area Is The Bagging Area?

"If you want to know what you can do with your recorded message, press 1 now..."

"We're cutting you off, none of our operators are game eough to talk to anyone willing to remain on hold for that long."

'It's that automated heavy breathing again.'