Automated System Skeptic Gifts

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"Welcome to the future"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

AI Threat to Democracy

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."

"Are the ingredients real?"

Freedom Puppet

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

CREEPY AF AI

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

'The government is offering us financial incentives to offer out staff financial incentives to offer our customers financial incentives to come up withsome good ideas for financial incentives.'

'I'm going to have to go with the leeches on this one....'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

Rational explanations

"They already offered these jobs to robots. They said they weren't that desperate."

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.

Marian And Alexa Have Their First Fight