Automated System Skeptic Gifts

'If you want to pay your bill, press one. If you want to discuss your bill, press two. If you're frustrated because you can't just talk to a living, breathing, human being, press three.'

"Welcome to the future"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I removed the AI software from your computer and I can see now that you're a blithering idiot."

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

AI Threat to Democracy

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."

"Actually, I'm tired of the man trying to shape our minds so they fit into some pre-arranged societal widget."

"Are the ingredients real?"

Freedom Puppet

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"Of course, Perkins likes to think he can make it to the top outside the corporate structure."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

CREEPY AF AI

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

'The government is offering us financial incentives to offer out staff financial incentives to offer our customers financial incentives to come up withsome good ideas for financial incentives.'

'I'm going to have to go with the leeches on this one....'

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

Frankenfood farms: pest-resistant, fresher-longer, who-knows-what produce.

Rational explanations

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

"They already offered these jobs to robots. They said they weren't that desperate."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

They all have to get down the slide in 2.7 seconds or we lose our funding. In schools soon: The recess aptitude test.