Automation Skeptic Gifts

4 Panel - on how aggrivating voice mail and computerized answering can be.

'Welcome to the automated booking line. Please state your location.' 'Oxford' 'I'm sorry. I didn't hear that. Please try again.' 'Oxford, you dumb robot!' 'I think you said 'Dumbarton'. Please press '9' to confirm.'

"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."

"If my call was important you wouldn't let a computer answer it."

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

'I wouldn't worry about all the automation that has been going on around here, Harris, until they come up with a robot that can take seven smoke breaks an hour,spend half the day complaining about the management . . . your job is safe.'

"You can hold for an assistant, or you can go online and chat with our robot until it tells you to hold for an assistant."

"Welcome to the future"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

I.T. Fear

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

Meet the new factory manager.

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Employee of the Month